I’ll be over here then, not existing

So, I was reading back on masseffect, which is all abuzz for Mass Effect 2, what with the new squad member announcements and whatnot. One of whom is the woman on the game’s cover, Miranda Lawson (voiced by Yvonne Strahovski from Chuck!) And, why yes, she is wearing a ridiculously body-hugging suit. And that is a considerably bustier model than any of the other Mass Effect females have been (whilst still looking like, you know, actual breasts, and not levitating balloons). I certainly understand why you might want to critique that.

But then someone in the comments has to bring up the idea that, in ‘real life’, people with breasts that large are never that skinny.

It’s not nice being told you don’t exist.

I remember a post on a forum I once lurked on that linked to a statuette of Aphrodite someone had made. The responses to which were along the lines of, real women never look like that; if he’s saying it’s based off a real person, it must’ve been a porn star (because those must be implants); slender people don’t get breasts that big. I went along and had a look, and was confused – Aphrodite’s body looked perfectly normal to me. More normal than the tiny breasts nudes usually had!

Then I realised why – it looked like me. It looked like my body, that I had to import bras for from the UK because they didn’t then sell my cup size here, bloody expensive bras that I couldn’t try on, and my chest would ache if they fit badly, and I could never find tops that fit right, and every time I went into a lingerie store ended in tears. My body that I saw in the mirror everyday. But people never think you’re as big as you are. And so my body was an unrealistic one. A nonexistent one.

Fun fact: boobs look different with clothes on! Surely women know this.

So if the Miranda Lawson character were wearing, you know, a top, a normal top, not too much cleavage (but not too high-necked, because that makes them look bigger), and if that top were modelled realistically (Orihime, I’m looking at you), you wouldn’t notice that her breasts were especially large. Especially because, you see they’re not.

It’s been a long time since I got emotional over my breasts. Not since I had my reduction, in fact! But wow, can one person’s comment ever bring it back. And it’s like – your feminist critique of a video game character shouldn’t make another woman feel bad about her body. My body is not cgi.

There’s this scene in Love and Rockets where the famously well-endowed Luba is at the beach. Luba is in a swimsuit; her breasts are sort of squashed and undefined. In other words, they look like large breasts actually do when you stuff them in a swimsuit. It may have got skeevier later, but I will always love Gilbert for that.

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